Late night love letter to shame. Oui oui.
I have always had a problem with shame. I think a lot of suffering comes from and with shame. The whole point of those tributes was for me to make people comfortable with what they feel, what they are, before giving any "tips" or "tricks" to change anything. And I feel like shame is my enemy on this battle !
Shame makes us quiet. It represses us, and therefore make things way bigger than they are. I learned that by opening myself to (myself and) others, by putting words on the feelings I held on to, this whole mess within always became instantly lighter. It's like pooping, you know? Just feels right. I believe in the power of words. I believe that our grand kids (I hope even our kids) will be able to measure the impact words have on humans. Talking and writing has always been a therapy for me. I hope you have found yours.
Everything we want as humans is to build social and human connection. So do the loners out there. And I am one of them. Separation is an illusion, and every therapy always starts with this human connection.
But how can we connect when shame represses our expression?
If shame makes us quiet, it can, from time to time, serve us. I have learned the most about myself during my silences. When this feeling arises, we do not dare to blame someone or something outside of ourselves, and that is exactly why shame can be useful. Shame forces us to look within. Blaming the external world for our emotional health will only be an eternal disappointment, a dull distraction, until we finally start to explore our inner-kingdom. Because this is the only thing we can, therefore should want to control.
Shame might not build any connection to others, but it can certainly build the one our spirit is craving for, the one with ourselves.
So just be quiet ! (Just kidding, just explore within, dear self-lovers ! And relax also, life is not that serious.... c'mon c'mon, gimme that smile!!!!)