The second she entered the room, I could not stop staring at her. Not because of her outfit, or her perfume, it came from within. She had something, this something I could not get to the bottom of. I owned it during my childhood but lost it during my teen years.
Confidence is a skill that should be learned within and taught to others.
The negative inner voices were once voices that came outside of ourselves. They were often coming from figures of authority, teachers, close "friends" or even "trust-worthy" family members.
By what they said or said not, did or did not, we lost trust. The trust that we could be enough.
If a healthy childhood is definitely the starting point of confidence, the ones that did not have the chance to benefit from those solid foundations should not give in to those thoughts. Because those thoughts are not us. We should rather take distance from them and understand that they are exactly what they are, just thoughts. However, like babies, thoughts that are not taking care of can turn into "difficult" teenagers.
We were all the "victims" of our childhood, happy or quite sad, healthy or unbalanced. But the good news are, it does not have to define us in our adult life. We can bloom where we once bled.
We have to understand that those voices came from adults that were also dealing with their own fights and fears. These insignificant yet highly impactful comments and actions were survival and protection strategies to cope with the difficulty of life. And if we were once the collateral victim of these, we can - and should - decide to break this cercle.
The painful realisation that adults do not hold all the answers should unravel the possibility to become our first and unique care givers. We can allow ourselves to develop self-pity, not in an egoistic and narcissistic way, but simply to heal our inner-child. Because self-pity is nothing more but compassion extended to ourselves. And we all deserve it.
In this way, we can finally give ourselves maybe the only thing any human being - baby or adult - deeply need, unconditional acceptance.