Tribute n˚32


"My Self had to die first for me to realise that it never existed in the first place."

What happens when the self is defined by otherness? When it is, before being anything else, other?

I never fit. I always felt I never would.

My skin color was not right. My hair. My african name. My size. So I created a dysfunctional self. I was so other, that other became me. 

I realised I was myself when I just did not think about my self. When we lose ourselves, we connect to the whole, the oneness. Some people lose themselves when they dance, when they surround themselves with music, some when they read or run. The self is suspended. Here disappears the need for affirmation of the self, being is just enough.

Oneness is a connection we can always go back to when we want to connect with the self.

Progress is only possible when the self that was making us insecure or anxious is being forgotten. When the self does not get in the way, we can recognize others as ourselves before getting to know them. We can sympathize and feel the pain or happiness like it's ours. We can finally stop giving the self so much authority, as this might be a constructed part of us, a projection of others, but never us as a whole.

We then stop identifying with its belongings, its transmitted values, its best sides or short comings, its emotions. We are finally capable to evaluate situations, with a distant appreciation and wisdom.

Because living completly lost in the self is passing by a huge part of life.

It becomes easier to destroy the planet, to use children to make our clothes or rape as a weapon during wars.

The cracks have started to show. It's only a matter of time now.

Tribute n˚30

I didn't have any sense of myself until I met them.

The universe is made of two things. An infinite space and objects that live in it.

Like the universe, we are an unlimited space in which thoughts and feelings (objects) appear. 

When we identify with our thoughts and feelings, we reduce the ocean of ourselves to the creatures that live in it. We do not know ourselves beyond our mental state. The self is confused with the mind.

When we are being told that we are wrong, our sense of self is suddenly being endangered. This is where the ego becomes defensive. Especially because the ego always feels like we are just not enough. It always needs more. More things to feel better, more time to be better.

Not knowing what we are beyond our mind or identifying completely with the mind, is the perfect ground for conflict. The egoistic sense of self needs dramas, enemies, difficult situations, to make sure the self does exist, still. It will find any excuse to show how big the self is. It defines its identity through the opposition of the other. "Us against them". It fights in the service of an identity, that is completly built in opposition to the... other.

The ego needs conflicts. Because with no conflict or enemies, the sense of the self becomes so fluid, that it might realise, that we are in fact, just one.