tribute

Tribute n˚11

Next time you catch yourself being scared of "Failure".


We tend to celebrate success over failure. It makes sense. However we should not forget that any "failure" might be the ultimate support there is to "succeed“ later on.

But more important than success or failure, what if we were to celebrate trying ?

Some of us might think that this is the comforting price for losers. Well guess what, we're all losers ! 

As babies, we all fell several times before being able to walk properly. And if we would have stopped trying, then I guess we would still be crawling on our bums !

But instead, we decided we would be cool losers. We would be the ones that laugh when they do not succeed. The ones that keep on trying, because it is also part of the fun. The ones that are humble enough to understand that success is not a one-day job, but a long-term and hard-work project. Until this day came. All of our efforts paid off: we were finally able to stand and walk. And this whole process made the achievement even sweeter.

Trying is the best gift we could ever give ourselves. Because when we get scared we might "fail" or "mess up", we then can realize that this very same fear gives light to the only real danger there is in life, the one of not trying.

So keep on trying babyyyy !

Tribute n˚9

My eight-year old self: "Oh I am going to go to college in New York and then I will certainly do a MBA. Then I will move to San Francisco because I am sure I will be tired of the weather at this point. Then I will go to South Africa and meet the perfect man there. With perfect jeans. We will have perfect kids. With perfect genes."

The Universe: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, if you only knew gurl".

To Planning
Defining goals is a solid tool for motivation. It is also a reliable way to incorporate self-discipline into our lives.It is a protective answer to uncertainty. The scary future seems a bit less terrifying. And it looks perfect on our pride, because admitting "I don't know" in our world sounds sometimes unprepared, if not immature. When, let's face it, nobody knows what this whole thing is about. 
Planning is needed, yes. But we should not forget to let the Universe surprise us with the details, the crazy encounters, the unknown, the unexpected. Because life happens exactly in between those plans. What we should maybe strive for, is not a precise goal, but a feeling. Wish to feel empowered, spicy, creative, grand ! By doing this, you can even incorporate this into every small actions on a daily basis. What can you do every day to feel this way? This is also a great way to eliminate what we think the others expect from us, thus to recenter to what we really and deeply want for ourselves.Work on how you want to feel, and remain open on the how this will come to you. By asking ourselves this question, we expand the possible ways to find our happiness.

Do not forget dear self-lover, life is about the journey, not the destination. Wherever you are going, i’m going the same direction: to our end ! So show me your best dance moves along the way, give it to me babyyyy !!

Tribute n˚8

Me: "I could not stop myself, I was so mad. So I slapped him."

Friend: "what did he do again ?"

Me : "Oh, he stole my ice cream."

About overreacting.

Overreacting is often a result of too many feelings we did not digest. Something "small" happens and we feel this urge to puke those feelings out. We are in fact giving ourselves justice. For what happened in the past.

Feelings are mental associations and reactions to emotions. They are influenced by our personal experiences, beliefs and memories. Long story short : someone screams (this is the stimuli), I am threatened (the emotion is fear), I feel horror (this is the feeling). We might experience the same emotion and yet not experience the same feeling. This is exactly where our difference lies. I feel different with the same stimuli because my story is different than yours.


Feelings are never wrong. They can never be wrong. Or right. They just exist.

They are like your right arm. It might be annoying in the night when you sleep on your right side, but it is always useful in the morning.

Not listening to feelings is never the solution. They emerge to make us understand our unresolved issues or traumas, therefore to make us understand ourselves, to innerstand.

It does not mean that we should act upon what we feel. Hatred may not lead to actions that serve us. However, acknowledge it, does. The first step to any healing is acknowledgement. It might take years, therapy sessions, but it's worth it: we will slowly, but surely, acquire this hard-earned lightly-held wisdom, and become the king or queen of our inner-kingdom.

Let's become unfuckwithable guys.

Tribute n˚7

Defeated, I decided to not intervene anymore. I sat down and watched my kid destroy the room, paint on the walls, yell like a distorted, schizophrenic and sadistic person to her bipolar, creepy, imaginary friends. I wondered, "did I really make this child?", "why?", "what's wrong with me?".

Another mom sat down next to me and asked: " is this your child?". 

Without looking at her, I just said:"yes". 

She asked: " what is her name?"

I replied: "her name is Mind."

Tooverthinking.

I have an open relationship with my mind you see

It fucks me and plays with me

It does not answer all of my messages or friend requests

But when I least expect

It blesses me with letting me undress my demons 

Creates stories and pons

About the past and the future.

I fight it in the mud of my silences

To not let it become my master

But remain my devoted servant.


We can not control our mind. But we can get to know it better so that it does not become our master.

Sit down by yourself in silence and let your mind play around yourself. Let it yell, cry, laugh, and will come a time, it will rest and you will remain.

Tribute n˚6

showered, put on my favourite lipstick. Put on my best suit jacket and my beret.
I was ready to go out, when she appeared. She stood on the way like a rock, she refused to let me out. There was nothing I could do. When I asked her who she was, she laughed and said: "I am you!"

To Self-sabotage.

"The only enemy we have is ourselves. The only person that keeps us away from our goals is us." I believe in that. However, I think we could see this from another angle, that is way more compassionate and loving towards ourselves. So I decided not to believe in self-sabotage anymore. And I invite you all to do the same.
Different people live within me. Who talk to me and I talk to. It's a constant play in my head. Some comedians are drama queens and speak so loud. Some of them are very shy and difficult to access. Every single one of them is a part of me. There is not one that I could silence or they would make a mess. There is not one that I would repress because they teach me about myself.
Every voice seeks to be heard. Every cry is a lesson learned. The eight year old in us will beg not to become too close to this person because they are terrified of abandon.
The control freak in us will procrastinate because they are terrified to fail this task that awaits us. The anti-social in us will find any reason to prove they "do not fit in" or they "will always be alone" because rejection was way too hard to handle in the past.

So, no. You do not have any demons. There is not such thing as self-sabotage. There is only you. Your past experiences and traumas caused a fragmentation of yourself into different personas who all try to cope by developing defence mechanisms.

I did not fight. I sat her down and offered some tea. I listened to every single word she had to say and finally, I understood. I innerstood. She was just scared. After a fruitful conversation, we finally stood up and held hands. I left my apartment as I should, as one.

Tribute n˚5

To Kalief Browder. Your soul is a model of courage and integrity for my generation and the next ones.

To this permanent and exhausting trial going on within myself, perpetrated by Human kind and for Human kind.

To the only solution I found to peacefully keep on fighting and yet ease my embodied soul, Compassion.

I begged Mother Nature "why does Humanity destroy itself- through Human creations, like race, power, or money?"

Anger was the first to come to the stand. With a very calm voice, Anger explained: " I am needed. Without me, Hurt would never be acknowledged. I am the ultimate genesis for Change."

Wisdom stood up and asked: "What would Anger become without me?"

Tolerance tried to ease everyone: " Why can't we live and let live ?"

Acceptance, surprisingly, did not accept this argument : " Tolerance is a beggar for survival, there is no Love in Tolerance, we should aim for more".

Finally, Compassion came to the stand and said: "Maybe even better than Love, you could try me. I do not need Love or even Understanding. I just need HumilityHumility to see that if they steal, murder or rape, then you can too. Acknowledge your own limits, and you will become infinite.

Judgement, fed by Fear, separate, I will set you free."

"That I feed the hungry, forgive an insult, and love my enemy— these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved— what then?" - C.G. Jung
There is no bigger change that the one within myself, there is no reparation without Compassion.

Tribute n˚4

As I was trying to hop to feel the lightness of Life, I felt a burden down my ankle that kept me to the ground. I looked down, and here it was again, Regret.

Regret is first Desire.

When Desire is usually directed towards the future, Regret is directed towards the past. It is nourished by memories, that are often a naive and a short-sighted idealization of the past. Because the past is intangible, therefore can not be changed, this desire is doomed to fruitlessly consume itself, over and over again.

Until what....?

Until we maybe convince ourselves to try one of those :

Letting go. Of perfection.

Perfection is a human creation, therefore a complete illusion. Try explaining perfection to aliens.

Letting go. Of our expectations.

Holding on to the past is sometimes our way to hold on to what we think defines us. What if WE were the ones who define the meaning of our past ? We have the choice to make it a burden or a hopping companion. Heavy sometimes, yes, but always full of ressources.

Letting go. Of the past.

The lessons can only be learned with the experience, so let's not dwell on the past.

Maybe we could look at the past only to see how far we have come ?

Forgiveness and Acceptance (towards ourselves first !). 

Would we react the same way to our best friend? It's funny how patient and accepting we are towards others, and how bitchy we can be to ourselves.

Humility

Let's try to be always sincere, but never too serious. Because we do not know what would have happened if... we simply don't !

"I did then what I knew then, & when I knew better, I did better." — Maya Angelou

Trust.

Trust the Universe.
Because "we make plans and God laughs". In the end, only Mother Nature rules, and she will have the last word. We do not control everything, but this is exactly where the Magic of Life happens.

So keep the chin up, smile to (y)our beauty, keep hopping.

Tribute n˚3

To my lovely BFFeA,

(Best Friend Forever and even After), the only one that stays and remains after the party is over, and everything and everyone left, Resilience.

Everyone left. HappinessJoyLaughter, even Anger or Sadness. We just feel Empty. 

Then this cutie shows up, gives us a warm and reassuring hug. She takes our hand and assists us for a while. And in no time, she invites Humor for tee, Laughter to the movies, and Joy to cook some curry.

She even invites Anger one night, but only for us to understand where our hurt comes from, and surprisingly, Anger turns into Acceptance at the end of this hot date.

Finally, we thank her with tears in our eyes for visiting during this difficult time. We wonder "how will we keep on without her ?!". 

Of course, she did not leave us alone. She left Patience and Trust, two funky twin siblings who always turn life into a challenging, but rewarding pure bliss.



Tribute n˚2

To Attachment, an acquaintance I have trouble to let go of.

We experienced pleasure, and now it is time to move on. The time has passed, and it's time to go home.

We try to discuss, negociate, to stall, end up begging, and when said no, remain in ruminations, become ungrateful or even angry.

Emotional suffering is self-created. It only occurs when we are faced with our own helplesness to grab pleasure.

To experience the authentic pleasure of life, we must let it go. Holding on to it will only take the life out of it. Then we become perfectly free.

Tribute n˚1

To my faithful companion,

Worry.

Worrying about what? 

The past ? Impossible, it's already gone.

The future ? But it does not exist !

You do not know enough to worry. It presupposes such a knowledge of everything in a situation, that it might be an act of hubris.

"Worrying is praying to the devil,

Worrying is betting against yourself." (Terence McKenna)

Worry is in fact just an arrogant, an annoying "I know everything" fake ass friend who is hugging you so hard that they keep you away from the only thing that could actually make a difference in a given situation, action.