do you remember being a kid & having velcro shoes?

and then, things got more complex and we were asked to learn that “bunny ear technique” and here we are, some nights later, asking ourselves how to go back to that velcro shoe time...
i’m saying this to say: the bunny ear technique might feel very natural to us now, but... it wasn't always this way. we learned & practiced, when we were ready.

we wouldn’t shame a kid for not knowing how to tie their shoes... they’re 2.
what we do is, we get them a system that work for them, velcro shoes, until they are ready to learn something new.

when you get stuck in a shame storm on a (full) moon-day like I am, maybe meet your selves where you are. because you’ve been consistent with trying. i don’t have to meet you to know. you’re breathing.
can you live in all your multiplicities today? and still be kind to your selves?
can you remain being soft to your selves today, even when you change your mind?
even when you refuse living in the “either/or” but instead keep swimming in the grey areas of “and also” ?
you can’t shame people into changing
you can’t hate people until healing
so why would it be any different with you?

be soft to you,
in reciprocity & care,
elia