i’ve spent a lot of time trying to fix what I thought was flawed. as if despair, anxiety, sadness are unfortunate visitors, as if the “default state” one should always go back to is “happy”. i’ve stopped framing pain as a problem that needs a solution (life knows no cheap equation). instead, what I strive for, is reconciliation with my pain through ceremony.

i was born out of heartbreak. out of grief. but those are not to let go of or depart from but states to adjust toward carrying every second. emotions do not visit us, we are the visitors, and that (we) will end, too.

i was born out of hope. out of love. have you noticed how love requires no fixing? how love just invites more space for us to breathe?

carving out more space so that all emotions can practice co-listening with one another, isn’t it a trip?

this year more than ever, i want beauty & pain to make no apologies for co-existing with me. it’s in paradox that we were all born, in the dark, & with no home to claim but the body. it’s in each other that we claim home.

to stop forgetting that: this is my resolution for 2022.