Tribute n˚207

hi precious one,

i hope this tribute to self love finds you well. i hope Aries season and the Aries new moon has highlighted your boldest desires, given you the courage to go after them, despite the wounds they might uncover.

Aries energy understands that to revive spring, something has to give. going after what we desire requires to give up on something, a sacrifice. to create something new, we must do something we’ve never done before. the risk might be scary, but the thought of never trying out of fear is scarier. 

that’s where intuition comes in, for me. 

if walking in the dark is scary, I’ve learned that there are certain things that can only be experienced, felt & learned in the dark.

intuition is embodied collaboration with the elements, ancestry and Spirit. 

while ‘knowing’ often gives us a sense of safety, security and control of uncertainty, intuition invites us to drop into the body, bring mind and emotions into synchronistic alignment with the heart, so that we can, beyond finding answers, ask better questions. it’s in the seeking that we get closer to our unique authenticity.

tending to our inner landscapes & finding sovereignty in liminality allows our psychic gifts and ancestral wisdom to shine through. silence & stillness can hold the void within better than any answer could. witnessing is sacred work. 

surely we are assisted. surely there are forces on our side rooting for out well-being.

But when we shift our inner gaze from me to beyond me, we realise that surrendering to our intuition can become a beautiful opening to expansive and unfathomable possibilities.

I’m so excited for your possibilities, dear self lover, and I’ll make sure to share mine.

Tribute n˚206

this week brought to the surface so many wounds around being rejected, flat out ignored or unseen.

you might have experienced this - an event, a dinner where someone ignores you, can not even look at you, as if their lack of acknowledgement that you are here - breathing - will stop you from happening. will stop you from being. 

this tribute is not about the violence that this situation requires for someone to act this way. i know deep down this behaviour has nothing to do with me, i know this is because my presence reminds them of something/one/the truth that fundamentally questions their belief/reality/sense of the world. the best answer their body can bring to this moment is shut down-ignore-violence.

i want to talk about how when we are constantly brought into those situations (and no body around us stops them) we internalise this so deeply that we become the aggressor, too. i’ve watched my selves slowly ignore my selves/my feelings/my cravings/my needs, too. i can not deny it anymore: i’ve also done this to me. and while this is not my fault, it is my responsibility to acknowledge that, to “protect” my selves, i’ve ignored me. i’ve chosen to not look at the sides of me i know society will deem unworthy/unloveable in the hope that those pieces of me might go away, and i (the loveable me) will be loved. 

i’ve contorted my selves so many times for so long that it feels uncomfortable for my spine to remain straight & proud. by doing so, i thought that my bullies will stop bullying me: “I am bullying me for you, you don’t have to humiliate me ! You see !!!!! I HAtEeEEE MeEEEE TOooOOOOO!”.

when we slowly reclaim those parts of us that have denied air, presence, respect & love, we show our inner bully that they can be loved, whole. with all the messy shit. 

and this feels so liberating (& so by default scary!) to let the volcano of our ignored, rejected selves explode, and let its lava ruin & burn from the ground up the fake ass constructions of the past. the bullshit we’ve been fed.

that we are not enough unless *perfect*. that if only we had 2 more weeks to make it perfecter maybe they would have seen how incredible and talented we are. this is not about them but how their experience of us has tainted our own vision of our selves. take the glasses off. 

you are ready. you are imperfect, you’re growing. you’re worth absolutely everything & more.

Tribute n˚205

happy Spring Equinox y’all !

we made it !

i know we just… waited but I am still so proud of us.

yesterday we welcomed Aries season, known as the Spring bearer in the northern hemisphere.

we celebrate a new year for our planet and for all of us living beings.

Aries is the cardinal fire sign of the zodiac. after the mutable water of Pisces, this mystical void where all souls are combined and truth of connection is highlighted, Aries is the transformative mutative experience of the self. water connects, it spreads until it finds connection, boundaries. fire enlightens, separates and if too close it destroys.

i know this time is so scary, and yet I hope that we get to cast spells for a better world (we really need it). in every conversation lies a possibility to build connection over shame, to share kindness over pain, to choose courage over comfort and to pass down healing over trauma. check where Aries falls in your chart to see what this season highlights for you !

I carry you all in my Pisces heart,

Stay safe & rebel,

Elia

Tibute n˚204

As I am creating my first Tarot deck, I am often told by loved ones and friends how they “wish they could be creative, too”.

creativity is a medicinal portal through which one get to ask themselves: “what is it that I need most, right now? what do i long for, right now?” creativity is the expression of our life force energy, it flows through all living beings. it can be measured in our heart beats, our brain waves, our blood circulation, our breathe photosynthesis. creativity is the difference between life & death. so, as long as you’re breathing, dear selflover, you are creating. you’re the creation, too.

I know some of you might roll their eyes and think: “what I mean is, I’d like to be able to paint, draw, dance, sing, whatever it is”. and i hear that.

creativity, under late stage capitalism, is often reduced to “the arts”. systems of hyper-productivity has taught us (very well) to confine creativity to certain boxes like art, because art, contrary to capitalism, is not consumptive. reducing creativity to art only is therefore an easy way to reduce what is not “productive” to the superficial. it reduces us, too, by keeping us away from our creative life force.

creativity is a way of life infused in everything we do. tending to relationships through time & space even through the sadness and grief a global pandemic has brought upon us, that’s creative.

engaging in ceremony & rituals, collective healing, that’s creative. sex & pleasure are creative. making meals for our selves, for our kids, that’s creativity!

while systems of colonisation & domination are consumptive and extractive, creativity teaches us otherwise. it reminds us that, it’s in the process that we find growth & grace. that we are the creation, too.

we are the progress. we are human beings, deeply flawed & fragile meaning makers, constantly evolving.

i hope you let you notice your creations this week, dear selflovers, i hope you get to notice your selves.

Tribute n˚203

the last months have been asking me to grow in ways that felt not only uncomfortable, but painful.

that’s how growth works, right? i wonder if flowers hurt when they bloom for spring, too.

then I met the ocean and I realised that it doesnt’ ask to come up on shore, it just does. the tidal movement of our waters often mirror the tidal movements of the ocean: we go up, and we go down, in an infinite moment. but when we focus on the tides only, we forget how deep the ocean is. how the earth that contains it never moves, even when the biggest waves crush on the shore.

what tides can you occupy internally?

how can you, instead of getting out of your own comfort zone alone, extand it, wave after wave?

potent dreams lie in the midst of the tiniest movements, the tiniest intentions.

trust that what you want, it wants you too.

have a great week, dear selflovers.

Tribute n˚202

creativity is the child of conflict.

when we struggle with inner conflict, creativity allows us to reestablish the bonds that unite us to this plane, by adding to the Creation. creating is a message in a bottle thrown in the ocean of the universe that reads: “I’m here too, I’m here too”.
because a conflict presupposes a need for a shift, creativity is such a powerful way to shift what’s been unsaid, undone. what’s there waiting and still hurts. what needs mending & needs to be tended to.

i hope you allow your selves to create. to shift and to transform what needs to be. whether it’s through cooking, creating an intimate conversation with a friend or the universe, art… our breathe aligning are co-creation of interdependence and care.

i hope you breathe easy this week,
elia

Tribute n˚201 +🌻Inner Child healing workshop🌻- Sunday Feb. 27th 7pm CET online

in 2 days, I'm turning 30 y'all.
this feels unreal and also very very real. like in my knees, very real.

during this time of the year, I always ponder about cycles, about beginnings and endings, about what's fair to call a birth day when every other day feels like a small death. sometimes in a good way, sometimes not.

the death card has been my card of the day for the last four days...

and i always come back to the discipline of softness. of what it takes for a heart to go back to love.

but some learnings lately have really helped me realise that i *can not* do this alone:

having a centered mental state is different than a fixed one. we're made of water for a reason. we need flow.

growth is uncomfortable, life is a constant process of letting go, but when we are constantly trying to avoid the discomfort of hurt, life feels like a constant lie.

self awareness, as bizarre as it sounds, is only possible through others. we get confronted to what's not resolved through encountering the other. that speaks beautifully to our infinite interconnectedness, our infinite loneliness.

this Sunday, I am offering a special inner child healing workshop.

Come join me to take care of them, they need it !

link to the workshop details HERE & link to reserve your spot HERE
as always, dear selflovers, stay safe, rebel & childlike.

elia

Tribute n˚200

I have been (re) creating the Major Arcana Tarot cards for the last 10 days.

Each day, I carve some time to create one Tarot card. I’ve learned a few things I would like to share with you:

1. Creativity is the child of conflict. There is a inner conflict that we address by creating. Whether it is food, a play, a newsletter or a going through a hectic day, we create. we are meaning-makers.

2. Creativity helps us reclaim bonds with a Universe that is too big for us to comprehend. By creating, what we’re doing is whisper to the tides of change: “I’m also here, I’m also here”. Adding to the big creation, maybe that’s what we’re meant to do while we’re still breathing.

3. Creativity is reestbalishing a sense of home in the world. There is a shift happening when we create to just create. A coming together between soul and spirit. That is the meaning of home.

4. Creativity is part of self-love. Imagination is self-love’s child. True self-love is reconciling with the past. With no reconciling there is no mending.

It has dawned on me how my biggest wounds have been people refusing to see me, to hear me. And how in response to that I have refused my selves too. In small ways, like: “if only you had this type of childhood, you would have been such an amazing person”, “If only you had support, what kind of person would you be?”.

That’s refuse, of what is there, of what is me.

Tonight, I am hosting a self love workshop for Valentine’s day.

If you want to read more about it, you can do so here.

If you want to sign up, there are some spots left! You can do so here.

I hope you choose love this week, dear selflovers.

Tribute n˚199

after the deep pain of coming close to something we so wished for or failures of all kind, we break open enough to contain, invite and triumph over what’s more, we give in, we lean into what’s for us to heal, even if that’s extremely painful.

it takes surrendering to act from love instead of acting for love.

energies never mistake those two. they recognise them, feed from them, transmute them.

waters contain memories until we can finally release them, to a greater container, and by doing so, we indirectly trust that the universe, our ultimate container, will recognise the courage & vulnerability it takes to jump in the waters of the unknown.

In return (& because the universe only knows reciprocity), we will be taken back to shore, eventually. the currents will bring us slowly to where we belong, eventually. all tides are governed by the Moon, after all.

what is there in your life that keeps acting you to act for love instead of from? where in your life do you keep acting for love instead of from love?

i hope you have a beautiful Moon day today, dear selflovers !

Tribute n˚198

a lot of people I work with are terrified of the stories they create, in the secret of their mind, soaked in the medicine of their imagination.

“what if, what i imagine, is crazy?”

you know what’s crazy?

white ableist patriarchy. that’s crazy. capitalism is, mam, crazy. IT’S CUCU crazy if you ask me.

seeing another person as a potential threat is crazy.

money (paper that hold "value") as the only way to live, that is, so crazy. borders are absurd. passport... cRaZy.

to not be able to meet our own reflection in the mirror without it being blurred by so much fear, pain & stupid standards that have nothing to do with us, missing our own beauty, that’s crazy.

claiming i can’t love you because I haven’t met you, because we’re not “blood”, because you’re not a friend or has not entered a transactional relationship with me is absurd. it’s crazy. 

i have NEVER met some of y’all and yet, I write you love letters (almost) every Monday. don’t I?

am i crazy? 

do not ever be fooled by how “crazy” a story you create for your own life might sound, to others. stories are made for us, forced on us. all the time.

some of them were so forced on us we don’t see them as stories anymore. we believe them like facts, politics, opinions, we value them more than our neighbours. we enforce them, on the people around us. & that is crazy.

this week and for the rest of your brief time here with me, allow yourselves to create your own story. the ones that center your beauty, your vulnerability, your connection to me. i promise I’ll do the same.

On Sunday Feb. 6th, 6pm CET, I am giving my first Past Life Regression workshop, online.

You can read more about it here:

https://www.selflovetribute.com/events

If you are interested, you can sign up here:

https://selflovetribute.as.me/pastlifeworkshop

with love & rage,

Elia

Tribute n˚197

the truth changes color depending on the light it’s under,

the quality of our growth depends on the quality of the questions we ask,

creativity has a way of flowing even in the most hidden places,

there is creative genius wrapped in our shame, that is unable to be integrated socially:

stay there. ask what’s to learn. re-member, you’re the visitor, sadness and despair are always here for us to tap into.

what if there’s no “fixing” to our greatest pains? maybe over time, we can hope to make them solid companions, ones that do not take over, but offer guidance, when being asked.

problem=equation is a cheap equation of systems of supremacy.

our pains are asking to be heard, to be seen, just like us, in all our complexities.

in my work, i constantly remind clients they don’t need fixing. they need reconciling.

we’re slowly realising that a world based on transactionality is not worth living for. that worth is not worth living for. relationality is essential however: it’s not worth making, it’s meaning making.

our deepest pains are craving for relationality, too. reconciling with them through ceremony, that’s sometimes all we can do.

you’re precious,

elia

Tribute n˚196

do you remember being a kid & having velcro shoes?

and then, things got more complex and we were asked to learn that “bunny ear technique” and here we are, some nights later, asking ourselves how to go back to that velcro shoe time...
i’m saying this to say: the bunny ear technique might feel very natural to us now, but... it wasn't always this way. we learned & practiced, when we were ready.

we wouldn’t shame a kid for not knowing how to tie their shoes... they’re 2.
what we do is, we get them a system that work for them, velcro shoes, until they are ready to learn something new.

when you get stuck in a shame storm on a (full) moon-day like I am, maybe meet your selves where you are. because you’ve been consistent with trying. i don’t have to meet you to know. you’re breathing.
can you live in all your multiplicities today? and still be kind to your selves?
can you remain being soft to your selves today, even when you change your mind?
even when you refuse living in the “either/or” but instead keep swimming in the grey areas of “and also” ?
you can’t shame people into changing
you can’t hate people until healing
so why would it be any different with you?

be soft to you,
in reciprocity & care,
elia

Tribute n˚195

i’ve spent a lot of time trying to fix what I thought was flawed. as if despair, anxiety, sadness are unfortunate visitors, as if the “default state” one should always go back to is “happy”. i’ve stopped framing pain as a problem that needs a solution (life knows no cheap equation). instead, what I strive for, is reconciliation with my pain through ceremony. 

i was born out of heartbreak. out of grief. but those are not to let go of or depart from but states to adjust toward carrying every second. emotions do not visit us, we are the visitors, and that (we) will end, too.

i was born out of hope. out of love. have you noticed how love requires no fixing? how love just invites more space for us to breathe?

carving out more space so that all emotions can practice co-listening with one another, isn’t it a trip?

this year more than ever, i want beauty & pain to make no apologies for co-existing with me. it’s in paradox that we were all born, in the dark, & with no home to claim but the body. it’s in each other that we claim home.

to stop forgetting that: this is my resolution for 2022.

Tribute n˚194

when a flower opens, it opens equally to sun and rain. an open heart knows deep down, it opens just as much to Love as it opens to fear & hurt.

being open to the fullness of what is (instead of what we wish could be) brings opulence in ways we never imagined.

emotional alchemy happens when we allow ourselves to fully feel the suffering that is there. slowly but surely, grief turns into gratitude, despair into faith, fear into joy:

we’ve lost so much, and yet, how lucky were we to have experienced what we have, even just once?

we feel like tomorrow will be as grim & uneventful as yesterday was, until we are being reminded that change is the only constant. God is change.

we’re crippled by fear and anxieties thinking about the future, but there’s a life force that has kept me writing you love letters for years. i hope you take this as my solid commitment to your joy, too.

if 2021 has taught me one thing, it’s that in the depth of my deepest pain, there is a strength that is bigger than my greatest fears. 

there’s no such thing as “renewal”. instead, what we do is we come back with a deeper understanding of who we are.

every word of this tribute sends a kiss of love & joy,

happy new year dear selflovers, and thank you for being here.

Tribute n˚193

wholeness and deconstruction exist side by side. it’s in being apart that someone/thing is made whole. we were never meant to reduce our selves down and make our selves smaller to one thing: one career, one identity, one path, one linear way of thinking, being, breathing. the answer lies in taking up all the space, acknowledging & reclaiming all aspects of us that have been deemed shameful, “too much”, “not enough”, for us to stand in our unique wholeness.
we inhabit our whole selves in our multiplicities.

when we start engaging & connecting from there instead of what we are too much of or what we are not enough of, we open up new pathways that truly mirror the aliveness & complexity of our being.

there is no graduation waiting for us when this is over. there is no test to pass, we passed it already. we're here. despite it all.
fully embracing our selves in our complex multiplicities is how we reclaim our wholeness.

i hope this season treats you with grace & care too, beautiful beings.
you can book a reading with me on my website down below, to start uncovering your multiplicities and the greatest gift they bring.

with love & care,
Elia

Tribute n˚192

when i let them run free, my waters allow me do what they do best: trespass the boundaries of my own hurt, my trust, my selves. gently and fiercely. here i can find my truer selves, but also, and most importantly, strangers and kin. 

here my waters can nourish seeds that need to be sprouted. seeds of hope & faith i thought had been long gone.

what hurts the most in our stories is the belief that they cast us as alone and unworthy of love and belonging. it’s the shame that hurts the most.

when we look for people who struggle just as much as we do, what we’re doing is trying to belong.

one doesn’t have to experience the exact same story to extend their compassion. all of us have stories that would make us silently weep. all of us have stories that would bring us to our knees. 

in all of those stories, it’s not their details that touch our souls the most, it is the reflection on our own feelings. it is the deep knowing that we are not alone. that just like them, we too, have felt utterly alone, deeply ashamed, incredibly unworthy.

dark & threatening clouds are filled with water only, and so are we. if it rains so much that an ocean forms around me, i trust that if i surrender, it’ll bring me back to shore. to a land where I can finally set my selves free.

Tribute n˚191

this week, i get clear about my intentions around my own freedom. 

i understand that freedom & the road to reclaim more of it do not always (if ever?) equate to happiness and ease.

i choose courage over comfort. clarity and freedom often come with unexpected and untamable waves of sadness, rage, surrendering & grief. 

that’s good: i let those waves teach me more of how untamed i am meant to be.

i locate in my life my deepest challenges and unearth parts of me i am most ashamed of. that’s where the most tender & precious piece of me is buried: my vulnerability. i reclaim it as strength and agency. by slowly dismantling shame within me, i reclaim what it has consistently kept me away from: my unique power, my own sense of agency, the trust that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me.

every word of this tribute sends a kiss of faith, care and joy, dear selflover!

Tribute n˚190

this week, i make sure i receive what my body gives me and make a celebration giving it what it needs. if my body is vulnerable enough to communicate its needs, i am humble enough to provide what it’s asking for.

i am certain: this is about choosing, not doing.i choose co-creating a conscious relationship with my body, where respect, care and safety are frontline. i focus on inviting my selves in vs blocking my selves out. 

i listen to my body’s pains and aches like my favourite songs. i pray to it like a GodX because my life depends on it. i stop worrying about shedding weight and instead focus on shedding shame.

when my mind is too focused on what it looks like, i connect deeper into how it allows me to be, instead of what it can’t do. i give thanks. my body never gave up on me, i’ll make sure I’ll show up for it.

every word of this tribute send a kiss of care, care & care. this week we welcome eclipse season, rest and stay rebel, dear selflover !

Tribute n˚189

this week, i forgive my selves for viewing some lack of reciprocation as a challenge to convince them of my worth.

i forgive my selves for blaming me when somebody else mistreated me.
i forgive my selves for not being able to predict when someone is going to act poorly towards me.

fearing being hurt is never productive, it’s staying stuck in fear & not experiencing our full selves that truly is.

sitting in my truth is the quickest and safest way to access my power. when in doubt, i commit to the pen and paper to express what’s burning on my heart and soul. truth can wait to be told. nothing urgent is essential. it is the care and patience I bring to my selves that truly are.

every word of this tribute sends a kiss of grace, patience and care, dear selflover!

Tribute n˚188

this week, I commit to recovering, listening & embracing parts of my selves that have been left wanting for care, yearning for me.
i forgive my selves for looking for places where I thought i’d be loved instead of being at home where i was.
retreat is necessary, and yet hard to comprehend to those for whom retreat is not absolutely required for psychic survival.
if success & happy are temporary prizes, wholeness is the real end game.
i commit to creating new pathways in which those forgotten landscapes of me and I can find deep cathartic union & bask in our wholeness again.
no “finish line” is worth my health, sanity or emotional stability.
i discover the path that has been carved out for me with patience & care: i have faith that this path has no expiry date. all it needs is me, whole.

every word in this tribute sends a kiss of care, patience & solidarity!